Due to the unsatisfactory work this year#
After finishing the company's work, I wanted to write an open-source project to find a sense of recognition. I joined bewlybewly
This is a plugin that optimizes the Bilibili experience, which I really like. I contributed my first feature to it, adjusting the order of the home tab bar and the default loaded page feat: custom home tab
It feels really good to see people using the code I wrote, and I can also chat with everyone on Discord. Maybe the significance of my development lies here.
Want to prove myself#
Thinking of doing some of my own projects to see if anyone uses them, but soon I took on a big project, or rather, several big projects.
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Thinking of imitating bewly to make a Xiaohongshu plugin for some custom configurations. So I wrote betterBook, but halfway through, I found that the experience itself was pretty good, and I couldn't really add anything special, so I gave up.
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Because bewly's interface is very suitable for gamepad use, I wanted to add gamepad support to it, so I wrote gamepad-web, a library that can bind keys and callback functions. But I couldn't figure out how to map the DOM structure to the gamepad, so I dropped it.
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After reading antfu's eslint-config, I wanted to create a website that analyzes static images in projects, converting jpg, webp, png, and other formats, so I wrote img-analyze to practice my ability to write command-line tools. But halfway through, I also gave up.
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I wrote eno-m, a plugin player, but only occasionally listen to it myself, reminiscing about my own code.
Seeing that the language switch of xlog was difficult to access at the bottom when browsing the feed, I raised issues and wrote a PR.
Failure always persists#
I wanted to get severance pay after resigning, but now I have become a marginal figure in the company. From being a key figure in the department to a marginal figure, all it took was one failed project. But the feeling of getting paid without much work isn't too bad.
I wanted to write an open-source project, but the last one didn't work out. Maybe my level is just enough to submit two PRs for others.
I've read book after book on programming, but I still feel like I'm only half as good as I should be. I think others are not good enough, but I also feel like I'm not good enough.
While my skills are lacking, I also lack passion, and I don't even have a hobby. Living just for the sake of living.